On July 3rd, I had the most awkward trip I have ever taken. the day before, I was so excited about the small trip I was going to take with my grandma and aunties in the Northeast area. I booked a roundtrip ticket and planned to get there before sundown.
I woke up early to be at the airport before the final call at 5 a.m. I was happy and excited about the flight, smiling and telling myself that I would be at my grandma’s house around 2:20 in the afternoon. That seemed like the perfect time to rest and enjoy the rest of the day, arriving in the time to feel good and enjoy the cozy ambiance right before sundown. However, things didn’t turn our as planned. My seat on both planes was at the very back of the aircraft.
I thought I would be fine without wearing a mask, given my seat location, but combined with the long wait on the plane after landing for about 15 minutes, it wasn’t ideal. All I could think about was how much I wanted to throw up. There were many unpleasant smells around me, the talking noise from everyone around, babies crying, smell of a snack bag intentionally left next to me, and the air coming from the top of the plane. It was the scariest thing ever. I had to hold my breath and tell myself over and over again to squeeze my nose as hard as possible t avoid doing anything embarrassing. Finally, I arrived peacefully and safely. After leaving the airport and waiting for pickup, the story didn’t end there. I was starving since I hadn’t eaten anything since leaving home. My aunties-in-law would pick me up when I landed. Ironically, she needed to go somewhere before heading home, so I had to go with her because I had no choice. On the way, she took the wrong exist twice, which could last forever. Honestly, my patience reached its limit. When I made it home, I ran right into the kitchen ad fast as I could. I seems like people easily get cranky when they are hungry. By that time, I was so exhausted that I hardly feel good, and I struggled to have a small chat with my grandma, my mind wandered while my body was there. The headache and tiredness only subsided after a long 3-4 hour nap once I had eaten. I began to feel like myself and regained my excitement.
The day of the vacation officially started with nice weather, sunshine, and lines of trees on the way to the beach. Everything felt different from where I live. It was a perfect beach day. We spent 4 hours lying on the sand, catching waves, building sandcastles, soaking up the sun, and taking a small nap right on the beach. There was nothing more perfect than that. Spending 4 days and 3 nights there exceeded my expectations. We enjoyed the beach during the day and night at the dock, it was like a dream. The whole picture of the new world barely showed up in front of my eyes, and I haven’t given any thought to what I could
possibly see in my future. It gave me more reason to push myself harder for a quality life in the future.
Coming from a small town in a small country, having the chance to see stunning and magnificent things in a developed country felt like a magical moment. Making the decision to start life in a new country was the most valuable things I ever considered. Every decision holds a big impact on one’s life. If I hadn’t start life in a new country, I wouldn’t have had the chance to see and experience beautiful things or expand my thinking and vision about life. I wouldn’t have even dreamed of being in such a place or just visiting if i had stayed where I was born.
There is so much abundance in the place I’m going to, in every aspect. A person can make their dreams come true with education and preparation. Access to food and knowledge is easier compared to where I was, where even getting enough meals for a month was a difficult task, and costs often exceeded monthly income. Not to mention the cramped living space share for every function-bathing, washing, restroom and sleeping. Spending few years in such living space taught me the value of decision-making, personal space, and freedom. This trip made me realize that it is a gift of hope, wishful thinking, and believing that there is something better than where I grew up. Finally, here I am, not officially, but partly. The desire to learn and practice repeatedly nurtures me to grow stronger after every small trip.
At this moment, I’m going to start a new journey, feeling scared and uncertain about whether I can make it. There’s a lot of internal conflict, comparing myself to others. Looking up makes me feel less confident, while looking down make me feel ahead of others; I understand that’s not the appropriate way to think about it. I hesitate and underestimate myself sometimes, struggling to get rid of these feelings. But then, I reconsider my feelings, I realize they are just emotions and not a true reflection of my value, knowledge, or abilities. Emotions are temporary and don’t define my potential. It’s like the chemical reactions in our bodies trying to protect us from perceived dangers, they do not have any right to control us.
This trip has been a reminder that life is full of opportunities if we are willing to accept and strive for whatever we feels right for us. Making decisions and striving for better things are essential. I’ve always tried to live actively, not just sitting there and wanting things but working for it, going with the flow, and finishing what needs to be done.
As the season change, so do we. Just like a person who struggles to move from a small village to the outside world, there are many things to learn and adapt to. It can be a fearful and vague process, but eventually, we must step out with all abilities we own, much like a butterfly shedding its cocoon. The process is painful and challenging, but it leads to growth, freedom, and happy life. I learn to see life like that little butterfly, eagerly awaiting the joys and challenges ahead, knowing that the bad day will pass and good day will come eventually.
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