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How I Loose Weight Without Stressing About It | Works for Anyone

junewen — Fri, 15 May 2026 02:37:17 +0000

“I want to be healthy. I want to look better…” It always start with words that sound so promising, full of excitement.

And for a few days, it feels real. You try to eat clean, start going to the gym, maybe even follow a routine you saw somewhere. But then….it slowly fades. You stop. Not all at once, just letting go of things, one by one, day after day.

How can I say this so sure and so confidently? Well, I’ve been in that cycle more times than I can count.

It’s not that I didn’t want to lose weight or feel better in my body. But everything I tried always felt too strict and too complicated, and the “should not” list was really hard to follow through with, and I don’t feel I agree with that. To keep up with those routines, it felt like I had to change everything overnight just to see results. And that didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel like something I could actually stick with.

Because we live so that we can enjoy the food, right? Not like eat the food to survive. Losing weight shouldn’t be this complicated; I really believe in that.

After a while, I started to question things differently.

Maybe the problem wasn’t that I couldn’t lose weight. Maybe it was the approach I was trying to follow.

So I stopped chasing big plans and start paying attention to something smaller. I focused on finding a simple way to lose weight-something that didn’t rely on motivation or force, but something I could actually live with.

No tools. No cost. No extreme routines. Just a few small habits that slowly became part of my day.

And honestly, that changed everything.

I didn’t notice it right away, but over time, my body started to feel lighter. Within a day, my energy became more stable. And for the first time, I wasn’t constantly restarting. I was just…continuing.

That’s when I realize maybe building habits is what really matters. Not doing things perfectly, not pushing yourself to the limit, but creating something simple enough that you don’t quit.

If you’ve been trying to lose weight but keep falling out of routine, I get it. I’ve been there.

This isn’t a perfect system or a fast solution. It’s just a simple way to build habits that actually stick and slowly help you feel better about your body and yourself.

If you’re open to it, I’ll share what worked for me.

The answer is simpler than you think: I started with just 5 MINUTES RUNNING each day.

The Root Cause of Why So Hard to Lose Weight

I don’t think losing weight is actually the hardest part. The hardest part is staying committed long enough to finally see the results.

And honestly, that makes complete sense. Most people, including myself, fail before they truly begin. Not because we’re lazy, but because we usually start with expectation that don’t match reality.

1. Unrealistic Expectation Make Us Quit Too Early

This is how it normally works: we want visible changes immediately. We want to feel motivated instantly. We want proof that what we’re doing is working after only a few days.

But our body doesn’t work like that.

When nothing changes fast enough, we start questioning everything.

“Is this even working?” “Maybe this just isn’t for me.”

Those usually the point where people give up.

2. Understanding the "Why" Behind the Struggle

After thinking about it for a long time, I realized something important: most problems can’t truly be solved until we understand the ‘why’ behind them.

When you really think about it, we spend years building our current lifestyle, eating habits, routines, and patterns. So of course the body also need time to adjust and change.

3. Trying to Change Everything Overnight

Another thing I noticed was the way I approach weight loss itself.

Looking back now, I realized the biggest mistake wasn’t the food or the workout itself. The real problem was the way I viewed losing weight.

I treated it like punishment instead of just a simple habit.

I thought I had to become a completely different person overnight. Suddenly eating perfectly, going to the gym all the time, staying discipline every single day, and following a bunch of strict rules.

And honestly, that mindset was exhausting.

It slowly kills your willingness to continue because everything starts feeling forced and mentally heavy.

4. Healthy Habit Are Not Suppose to Feel Impossible

The thing that actually helped me was changing the way I thought about weight loss from the inside.

Instead of trying to change my whole life at once, I started focusing on very small actions that I could repeat every day.

No pressure. No extreme effort. Just simple habits that slowly became part of my normal routine.

Maybe that’s what many people misunderstand about building healthy habits.

It’s not supposed to feel impossible.

5. The Pressure Created by Social Media

I also think social media quietly affects the way we think about progress.

Social media plays a massive role in this. We constantly see fast transformations, dramatic results, and motivational clips that make everything look instant. But just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean the same process will work exactly the same for us.

Everyone’s body, lifestyle, mindset, and journey are different.

6. There Are Tons of Things We Have to Handle Daily

When I started thinking about it more deeply, I realized something else too.

Sometimes we treat healthy living like this huge impossible, when in reality, we already handle harder things every day.

People deal with stressful jobs, financial pressure, school, responsibilities, and personal problems all the time. Compared to those things, building one small habit is actually very manageable.

7. The Way We Think About Weight Loss Matters

Frankly, I think a big part of the struggle also comes from the way we talk to ourselves.

The moment we keep telling ourselves: “Losing weight is hard.” “Getting in shape is painful.” Our brain starts believing that too. Then every workout feels annoying, every habit feels heavy, and the whole process starts feeling like something we have to suffer through.

That was exactly what happened to me.

Everything changed one I stopped trying to rush the process. Instead of stressing over fast results, I started paying more attention to whether I could realistically continue doing something for a long time.

Honestly, that mindset helped me more than any strict routine ever did

8. Why Small Habits Work Better Than Extreme Routines

This is exactly why small habits ended up working much better for me.

Because the truth is, healthy weight loss usually looks very boring at first.

The main thing that help me was surprisingly small: running for just 5 minutes everyday. That was it.

Nothing extreme. Nothing complicated. No intense workout plans or strict routines that made me feel exhausted before I even started.

At first, 5 minutes didn’t feel like enough to change anything. But what’s exactly why it worked. It felt easy to start, easy to continue, and most importantly, it didn’t make me hate the process.

9. Consistency Matters More Than Intensity

And honestly, the real change didn’t begin from the running itself. It began when that small action slowly became part of my normal life.

That’s when healthy habits stop feeling like “work” and start becoming something you naturally do without fighting yourself everyday.

Be Generous to Our Thinking First

I think one of the biggest paradoxes about health is this: we all know health is important, but most of the time, we don’t truly treat it like it is.

I understand why it happens.

The answer is simple: our brain naturally loves things that are fast, convenient, comfortable, and energy-saving. We always try to solve problems in the quickest way possible. That’s how we survive daily life. We focus our time and energy on the things that feel urgent-work, money, school, responsibilities, future plans.

Those things feel “serious,” so we give them attention immediately.

But health feels different. We often take it for granted.

Most of the time, we don’t see unhealthy habits creating damage instantly. The consequences feels far away, so our brain quietly places health into the “later” category.

“I’ll start next week.” “I’ll focus on it after I finish this work.” “I’m too busy right now.”

And little by little, we keep pushing it aside. I used to think that way too.

I cared more about short term comfort than long term health because the results of healthy habits are slow and almost invisible at first. Spending just 10 minutes exercising, even if it is only 5 minutes walking and 5 minutes running, will not transform your body overnight, so your brain naturally starts wondering, “What’s the point?”

But if you really stop and think about it, health is actually one of the most important things we have.

Because the moment we get seriously sick, everything else suddenly becomes secondary.

Work stops. Plan stops. Stress about money disappears for a moment. Even important goals no longer feel important anymore.

A woman peacefully enjoying a mountain view, symbolizing how self-acceptance, a healthier mindset, and a broader perspective can help create a more sustainable and emotionally balanced weight loss journey focused on long-term well-being rather than perfection.

At that point, the only thing we want is simple: to feel better and return to normal again.

That realization changes something in me.

I started understanding that taking care of my body shouldn’t be treated like an optional task I only do when I “feel motivated.” It should be part of normal life, just like working, eating, or sleeping.

It is true that building a healthy habit became much easier once I stopped treating it like a huge challenge.

That’s why I think we need to be a little more generous with ourselves in the beginning.

Not forcing perfection, not expecting instant results, not making the process harder than it needs to be.

Just starting small enough that we can continue.

For me, that habit was walking for 5 minutes and running for 5 minutes a day. Out of 1,440 minutes a day, 10 minutes is almost nothing.

But somehow, that tiny habit slowly changes the way I treated my health, my body, and even my mindset toward consistently itself.

10 Minutes a Day Change My Body and Habits

After trying to may complicated routines, I realized the thing that finally very simple and easy to work on was surprisingly simple:

5 minutes of walking and 5 minutes of running each day.

That’s it.

No expensive programs. No strict schedules. No need to spend hours at the gym. All you need is just a pair of shoes and the willing to start.

At first, I stopped focusing on losing weight fast. My only goal was just staying consistent as consistency matters much more than intensity in the beginning.

Earlier, I fail most of the time because I try to do too much at the same time.

But when something feels simple, the brain resists it less. You don’t need to do mentally prepare yourself for hours just to start. You simply go outside, walk for a few minutes, run a little, and come back home.

A person using a daily habit tracker to build consistency, healthy routines, and long-term discipline that can support sustainable weight loss and overall well-being.

And honestly, I strongly believe most people will slowly get used to it by the second week.

At that point, your body starts burning more energy naturally. Your stamina improves, you feel lighter, and even mentally, you begin feeling better because you’re proving to yourself that you can actually stay consistent with something.

According to health and fitness research, even small amounts of daily movement can help improve metabolism, burn calories, and support healthy weight loss when repeated consistently over time.

And that’s really the important part-not doing things perfectly, but repeating them enough for them to become normal.

For me personally, the biggest change wasn’t only physical. Of course, my body slowly became leaner, but what surprised me more was how much lighter and clearer I started feeling mentally after running regularly, even for a short amount of time.

One extra tip that also helped me a lot was simply this: don’t overeat.

A lady enjoying her meal mindfully, showing how balanced eating habits and a healthier relationship with food can support sustainable weight loss and long-term well-being without extreme dieting.

I still ate the same foods I normally enjoy, but I became more mindful about the amount instead of eating until I felt overly full.

Honestly, combining those two small habits-running a little and not overeating-made a bigger difference than all the extreme routines I used to force myself through.

One important thing to remember though: stepping into the THIRD WEEK is usually the HARDEST part.

That’s the phase where motivation starts fading, but the habit still doesn’t feel fully automatic yet. Your brain starts negotiating with you:

“I’ve been doing good…maybe I can skip today.”

“I’ll just do it tomorrow instead.”

Those thoughts are completely normal. But pushing through that phase matters much more than having a perfect workout plan. Because once the habit becomes part of your normal routine, everything starts feeling much easier afterward.

The Advantage of Keeping It Simple

Start with zero cost
Easy to fit into a busy schedule
Less mental pressure
Support healthy and sustainable weight loss
Create a sense of self-care and self-respect
Easier to maintain long-term compared to extreme routines

A lot of fitness advice online sounds good at first, but once you think about the time, money, pressure, and effort required, it becomes hard to maintain for a long time. That’s why I wanted something simple enough that I could continue even on busy day.

Running for just a few minutes each day solves that problem for me.

It’s very cost-effective. You don’t need expensive equipment, fancy workout plans, or monthly gym memberships. Most of the time, all you really need is a pair of shoes and a bit of time.

It also removes one of the biggest excuses people usually have: “I don’t have enough time.”

But if you really think about it, almost everyone can spare 10 minutes out of the 1,440 minutes in a day. It’s such a small portion of the day, yet it can slowly create a much bigger change over time.

Another thing I noticed is that simple habits feel mentally lighter. You don’t spend the whole day of thinking about workouts or forcing yourself into strict routines. The habit slowly fits into your life instead of controlling it, while the physical changes quietly begin showing up too.

Your body feels lighter, your shape improves, your energy becomes more stable, and you naturally feel better about yourself. Not because you suddenly became perfect, but because you know you’re finally doing something good for your body consistently.

I think that feeling matters a lot.

It creates a sense of responsibility and self-care at the same time. Even on days when life feels chaotic or overwhelming, you can still take a few minutes to prioritize yourself.

Sometimes it is quite true that staying committed to something small feels better than chasing something extreme that never lasts.

Mental Trick That Help Me Stay Consistent

» Think of if as an exchange, not a sacrifice:

→ Changing the way I viewed those 10 minutes was helping me a lot. Instead of thinking that I was “losing time,” I start seeing it as exchanging a very small amount of time for better health and my body feels better in the long run. 10 minutes out of 1,440 minutes a day is a very small amount.

» Make the habit feel small in your mind

→ I stopped telling myself “I need to work out.” Instead, I told myself: “It’s only 5 minutes of running.” That small mental shift makes starting feel much easier. As when something feels small, the brain resists it less.

» Compare it to time spent on social media

→ If we’re being honest with ourselves, most of us already spend much more than 5-10 minutes a day scrolling on social media, watching reels, or using phones without noticing. The weekly screen time report on our phone usually says enough already.

→ So I started reminding myself “If I have time for that, I literally have time to take care of myself.” This in some way helps me stop making excuses.

» Treat it like a small competition with yourself

→ I also become a little competitive with myself-not with other people. Some days I simply wanted to prove “I can do it.” Even finishing a short run gave me a small sense of achievement.

» Ask someone close to you to join

→ Another thing that can help me a lot is asking a friend, sibling, or partner to join you sometimes. Running with someone makes the habit feel lighter, less boring, and easier to maintain, especially during the first few weeks.

» It’s okay to take a rest

→ After building a running habit, one thing I had learned is that missing one day does not destroy the whole habit. Sometimes your body is tired. Sometimes life gets busy. That’s normal. The important thing is coming back again instead of turning one missed day into giving up completely.

» Focus on consistency, not perfection

→ At the end of the day, the goal is not to become perfect overnight. The real goal is simple making healthy habits feel normal enough that you can continue doing them without constantly fighting yourself mentally.

Let the Journey Begin

At the end of the day, losing weight and building healthy habits are not about becoming perfect overnight.

It just simply about slowly becoming a better version of yourself, one small step at a time.

So if you’re starting this journey, please be gentle with yourself. Real changes always take time. Healthy weight loss take time. Building habits that actually stay with you also takes time.

There will be lazy days, unmotivated days, and days where you feel like giving up. That’s normal. Don’t let one bad day convince you to stop completely.

Just keep coming back.

Everything I shared in this blog comes from my own personal experience-things I genuinely struggled with, tested myself, and slowly found helpful over time. I’m not trying to sell a perfect system, only sharing a simple habit that truly worked for me.

So maybe this is your sign to finally begin.

10 minutes only, a 5-minutes walk and a 5-minutes run.

Maybe the real transformation starts the moment you stop waiting and finally give yourself a change to begin.

The post How I Loose Weight Without Stressing About It | Works for Anyone appeared first on Better by Lit.

5 Practical Things to Handle Low-Energy Days

junewen — Mon, 06 Apr 2026 21:00:00 +0000

We are not robots. We are not meant to feel happy and energetic all the time. And I know this because I’ve been there too. There are days when I woke up feeling tired and heavy for no reason… even before the day begins. Somehow, instead of listening to our body, we start blaming ourselves.

We feel tired, our body is clearly asking for rest, but instead of giving it what it needs, we push harder. We tell ourselves we’re not doing enough. That we should be better. More productive. More in control.

It doesn’t make sense, right?

I’ve been through this feeling more times than I can count. And most of the time, it happened when I was already burned out – I just didn’t realize it. I wasn’t kind to muself at all.

Looking at, I was both the one hurting myself and the one being hurt at the same time. Honestly, it took me years of trial and error to figure out a better way to cope with those kinds of days.

Now, let’s move to the main part – the small habits I go back to whenever feel off, tired, and unmotivated. These are my go-to solution:

These are not steps that magically make me feel “normal,”, positive, or fully productive again. They are simply ways to help me get through tough days… without letting those days completely take over.

1. Step Outside for a Few Minutes

One thing I’m pretty sure many of us do when we’re not feeling like ourselves is this: We isolate ourselves.

We stay in our room, close the curtains, avoid light, and just in that quiet. Somehow, we feel more comfortable in the dark, moody environment.

I used to do that all the time.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned: that feeling is not really “us.” It’s just our emotions pulling us deeper into that state. In psychology, I have read and heard of is often linking to something called “behavioral withdrawal,” where avoiding activity and isolating ourselves can actually reinforce negative mood over time. Research in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) also shows that staying inactive when we feel low tends to maintain – and sometimes even worsen – those feelings. The more we stay in that environment, the deeper we sink.

So the first thing we need is awareness.

Just pause and remind yourself:

Maybe I should do something different right now.

That simple thing you can do is – STEP OUTSIDE.

You don’t need to do anything big. Just spend 5-15 minutes outside. Walk a little or stand still and get some fresh air. →

But what if we don’t have backyard or outside space, that’s okay. Just go outside your house, your apartment, or even stand near a window with natural light.

Then, you should gently shift your attention outward.

Look at the tree, look at that sky. Notice small detail – colors, shapes, movements.

Ask yourself simple questions when you pick whatever within your sight:

This help redirect your focus away from your thoughts and back into the present moment.

2. Write Down What's on Your Mind

This next step is, for me, the most important one. After spending outside and getting a bit of fresh air, this is where things starts to shift inward, and I truly believe this can help you too.

But I won’t lie to you – this is not a “fun” step. In fact, it might be the hardest one. Because it takes courage to sit down and face what’ actually going on inside your mind, to look at it directly instead of avoiding it, and to finally make things clear instead of letting them stay messy and overwhelming.

First, you don’t need anything complicate. Just take at least five minutes, or longer if you feel like it, and start writing. Write down every worry you have, every thought, every feeling. Don’t try to organize it, don’t try to make it sound nice, and definitely don’t judge it. This is not about writing what you should or shouldn’t do – it’s about letting everything out exactly as it is. It could be messy, honest, and unfiltered.

Remember this: If you don't know where to start. Just write anything in your mind at that moment. You are not writing for anyone else. It doesn't have to be perfect, and it doesn't even have to make complete sense.

You are simply writing for yourself. Think of it like this – in that moment, you are becoming your own best friend, someone who listens quietly without judgement. And that alone is powerful, because it gives you inner voice a chance to finally speak.

You will notice something interesting happen when you keep writing. When you write until there’s nothing left in your mind, you start to feel lighter. Not completely okay, not suddenly “fixed,” but lighter. And when you go back and read what you wrote, you might notice things you didn’t expect – thoughts you’ve been avoiding, feelings you haven’t fully admitted, or small things that have been affecting you more than you realized. That’s where the clarity begins.

One thing I’ve learned is this: when you can identify the source of what’s bothering you, you’ve already solved a big part of the problem. And after you finish writing, take a moment to pause, breath, and be proud of yourself. Because you showed up for yourself. You did something, even when you didn’t feel like it. That matters more than you think. Even something small like this can quietly shift your entire day – you just don’t realized it until after you do it.

3. Clean Up Small Thing

After spending time writing down your thoughts, this next step might be optional – especially on days when even small actions feel heavy. But in my experience, it can boost your mood more than you expect.

And I know what you might be thinking – why cleaning? Why this, instead of doing something else?

Well, for me, it connects in a simple way. The previous step is like cleaning your mind. This one is about cleaning your environment. And on days when you’re feeling overwhelmed or not quite like yourself, when everything feels messy inside, having a clean space outside can quietly make a difference.

At first, I thought the same as you. I didn’t think it had anything do to with my emotions or how I feel. It seemed completely unrelated. But then I tried it… honestly, I was wrong.

I started with small things. Making my bed. Throw away snack bags I had left there for almost a week. Vacuuming the hair on the floor. Sweeping out the dirt.

Nothing big. Just small actions.

But when I finished, I noticed something.

I felt much better.

Not in a dramatic way. But enough to feel a shift. My room looked cleaner, lighter, and somehow… I felt lighter too. Especially on low-energy days, that small shift matters more than we realize. It gave me a sense of control, like I had done something good for myself – even when I didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

It’s kind of weird, right?

But at the same time, it also feel like a quiet message I’m sending to myself:

I take care of myself. It feels so good to be in a clean space.

And that feeling matters more than we think.

I even looked it up out of curiosity, and it turn out there’s real research behind this. A study from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) – part of the Center on Everyday Lives of Families – found that people who describe their homes as a cluttered or messy tend to have higher level of cortisol, the stress hormone, compared to those who live in more organized spaces. On the other hand, cleaning and organizing can create a sense of control and reduce stress, which directly improved mood.

So I guess… It’s not just in my head after all.

Honestly, on low-energy days, sometimes you don’t need to fix everything. You just need one small action that reminds you’re taking care of yourself.

4. Let Yourself Slow Down (Lower Expectation)

Letting yourself slow down is something we often ignore – especially on rough days.

Think about it. What do you usually do when you’re not feeling good, when you have no energy or you’re just having a bad day?

If you’re like me, the answer is probably this: I push myself even harder.

But hey! Why do we do that?

I think it’s because we don’t want to admit that we’re tired. That we’re not okay. That we need a break. Somehow, slowing down feels like weakness, and we don’t want to accept that – especially on days when our energy is already low.

But here’s something I started to notice about myself.

The more I stresses I felt, the higher my expectations became. I would expect myself to finish everything, to stay productive, to “fix” my mood in one day – even when I clearly had no energy to do it.

And it turns out, this isn’t just me. Research in psychology shows that when people feel stresses or overwhelmed, they often try to compensate by increasing their expectations or pushing themselves harder. This is something linked to the perfectionistic tendencies and a need to regain control, even when their mental and emotional resources are already depleted.

Looking back… it doesn’t make sense at all. It’s kind of funny actually.

Because the truth is, when you’re already low on energy, high expectations don’t help you move forward – they pull you down faster.

A big reason we feel stresses on bad day is because thing don’t go the way we want. And most of the time, those things are actually out of our control.

We expect outcomes we can’t control. We want things to happen faster, easier, or exactly how we planned.

However, I believe everything has it owns timing. Its own process.

And the only thing we can really control is how we respond, how we adjust, and whether we allow ourselves to move with that process instead of fighting it.

When I really sat down and thought about this, I realized something about myself.

I already know these things. I just didn’t accept them.

And instead of going with the flow, I kept resisting, kept pushing, kept expecting more from myself – even on days when I clearly needed less.

It’s kind of stubborn, right?

But also… very human. Honestly, when I realized that, I couldn’t help but laugh a little at myself.

5. Choose to Do One Thing

Lastly, the thing that has really helped me on difficult days is this: choosing just one thing to do, especially the thing that you must do in a day.

Because the truth is, on days we feel down or mentally drained, we often fall into a strange pattern. We don’t feel like doing anything… but at the same time, we expect ourselves to do even more than usual. I’ve talked about this in the previous section – and I’ve definitely been there.

That’s why I think this is the moment to be a little more gentle with yourself.

Instead of trying to do everything, just focus on one task. One thing that truly needs your attention that day. An once you’ve done it, allow yourself to rest.

As when we’re not in a good state, our performance usually isn’t at its best anyway. So trying to do too much often doesn’t lead to good result – it just makes use feel more exhausted.

Doing one thing, or just a few small things, is already enough.

Maybe we can start looking at those bad days a little differently.

Instead of seeing them as “unproductive” days, maybe they can simply be days for rest. Days to slow down, reset, and take care of yourself. Why? Because you still have many other days ahead to keep going.

Taking a break for one day won’t ruin your progress. It won’t change your career. If anything, it might help you come back with more clarity and energy.

That makes a lot more sense.

6. What to Remember for the Days You Don't Feel Like Yourself

So these are the thigs I use as a small system to guide myself through low-energy days – the kind of days when I feel off, tired, or just not like myself.

I know that everyone experiences bad days differently. What works for me might not work the same way for you, and that’s completely okay. These are not rules or perfect solutions – just gentle suggestions that have helped me get through rough days without feeling completely lost in them.

If you take anything from this, I hope it’s this:

You don't have to be at your best every day

On those slower days, when you feel like you have no energy, no motivation, or you’re stuck in a low mood, it’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to do less. And it’s okay to take care of yourself in a softer, more understanding way.

Sometimes, getting through the day is already enough.

I also hope this reminds you to be a little more aware of yourself as I have always done it for me – your feelings, your limits, and what you truly need in those moments. Not in a harsh way, but in a kind and honest way.

Because learning how to take care yourself doesn’t always mean pushing harder. Sometimes, it means listening better.

At the end of the day, my intention in sharing this is simple.

I just want to open a small space where we can learn how to love ourselves in a little better – not perfectly, but wisely. And if even one small part of this helps you feel a bit lighter on your down-mood days, them I’m really grateful.

Thank you for being here, for reading and for taking this time for yourself.

I hope you have a gentle day – whatever kind of day you’re having.

The post 5 Practical Things to Handle Low-Energy Days appeared first on Better by Lit.

First-Time Dating Yourself Ideas

junewen — Wed, 26 Feb 2025 15:54:03 +0000

We feel tired and empty inside in some way when we get back from work; we don’t feel happy or have a good time hanging out with friends. Another way of saying this is that our feelings about all of our relationships haven’t brought us happiness or made us feel heard. Or, some of us may have gone through a heartfelt divorce or a painful breakup or experienced uneasy feeling; we gradually become disappointed, start to doubt, and mistrust others and ourselves. If you are looking for a reason and a solution to get away from such negative feelings out of your mind, I think you’ve come to the right place.

1. What is self-dating?

Self-dating is simple the act of spending time doing something you love, alone and on your own terms, without interference from anyone else.

2. Why do we need to date ourselves?

We all sometimes feel left out in our relationships, even when everything seems fine externally. Occasionally, you may be with a group of friends who are very supportive and get along well, hanging out for coffee or just having a girl’s day out, yet you might not really be into it

This can be a signal from your body and mind that they need attention from you. Perhaps there are unmet needs or aspects of your self-care that have been neglected for too long. Hence, when we take the time to meet our own needs, we will feel happy and whole, whether we are with others or by ourselves.

3. Overcome the barriers of thought

Spending time alone also means doing things alone without involving anyone else.

Here are some barriers that I think some of us might face in our thinking: the barrier of daily tasks, the social barrier, and the internal barrier.

The barrier of daily tasks

You might ask whether activities like grocery shopping alone, cleaning the house, or running errands count as spending time, right?

My answer is these are just tasks that need to be done daily, and they are tied to duties we must perform and cannot choose to ignore. Hence, dating yourself means choosing any activities you genuinely love and enjoy, based on your own interests and preferences. This is the easiest and simple definition of its that I understand and find most relatable.

The social barrier

Or, you might ask, ‘Will it look weird if I go somewhere in public alone? Will others look at me and say something about me behind my back?’ The answer is nobody will care about you; they are too busy with their own business. The way you feel is just your feelings telling you, and part of it is trying to protect you from doing things differently than you’re used to.

What I want you to know is that you deserve to have your own time and do things you love. You matter, and you are valued and worth more than anything else. Why should you care so much about what others thinks? The only person you should be taking care of is you and yourself only. So, why shouldn’t you?

The internal barrier

There’s one thing I want to mention: we often doubt trying something new when we have no experience with it and haven’t heard of anyone else doing it. Additionally, we humans are very good at procrastinating, which I personally do. We start asking ourselves how we should find time for this when we feel already buried alive by a heavy schedule filled with school, assignments, or family, work and children. I actually feel the same way as you do when thinking about spending time for myself. So, what would be a solution for these complaints? The answer is MAKING TIME :))

Obviously, a day has only 24 hours, and there is no exception; everyone needs to divine their time wisely among various activities to make their life more meaningful and their day more effective. And, you are no exception. Have you thought about how others manage to do it? If they can, so can you.

MAKING TIME for yourself is the only way.

4. Benefits of self-dating

The profound impact of going on a solo date was more than I could have ever explained. Let me share my story, and I’ll keep it brief. In my final year of university, I faced some of the toughest months of my life. Overwhelmed by stress and burnout, I was anxious about graduating, leaving a part-time job I dislike, which helps me survive during college years, and the pressure to find a better opportunity once I was done with school. I couldn’t ignore the mounting pressure; it forces me to confront the daunting choices about my future career. Trapped in a relentless cycle of negativity, I knew I needed a change.

So, I let go of all those burdens. I decided to break free from the routines that had brought me to this point. I chose to do something I’d never considered before—a real date with myself. This wasn’t just about doing something different; it was an opportunity to reconnect with myself on a deeper level.

Nowadays, taking time for ourselves often slips through the cracks. Indulging in spending time alone can be transformative. When you date yourself, you’re not just giving yourself a break; you’re embarking on a deeper journey of self-discovery and appreciation.

The outcome of my solo date was more profound than I cold have ever expressed.

Increase self-recognition and self-validation: First off, a solo date allows for self-recognition and self-validation. It’s about acknowledging your worth without needing others to confirm it. For example, on a quiet walk through the park or sitting alone at a random cafe, you learn to listen to your own thoughts and validate your feelings and desires. This act of self-validation is empowering. It teaches us to trust our instinct and make decisions that align more closely with our true self.
Willing to forgive and appreciate yourself: Spending time alone creates a space to forgive and appreciate yourself. It’s easy to be hard on ourselves, but stepping back helps us understand our journey, recognize our efforts, and accept out imperfections. This acceptance fosters a kinder internal dialogue, which is very crucial for mental health.
Relieve stress and anxiety: Alone time can significantly reduce stress and anxiety. It provides a break from the social expectations that often weigh us down or duties tied to our responsibility we have to maintain, allowing our minds and bodies to reset. This pause can sharpen our focus and discipline too, as managing how we spend our solo time can lead to better self-management skills.
Promote personal fulfillment and build resilience: There’s also the aspect of personal fulfillment that comes from pursuing activities that truly resonate with our soul. Whether it’s reading, painting, or simply sitting at the park, these moments contribute to a sense of complete well-being, both physically and mentally. Over time, this builds greater independence and resilience; we equip ourselves with patience and skills needed to handle stressful situations more effectively.
Nurture adaptability and creativity: When you’re by yourself, you’re master of your time and choices, encouraging you to think differently and embrace new experiences. This flexibility can lead to unexpected discoveries and creative inspirations.

No matter what activities you chose to spend time alone enriching your life. It builds a foundation of self-love and acceptance, enhances your capacity to cope with life’s challenges, and sparks a creativity that comes from within. So why now schedule a solo date? It might just be the best relationship you’ve ever been interested in.

5. Simple steps for planning a solo date

You might wonder what steps are necessary to plan the perfect date for yourself. The answer is quite straightforward; just follow these 4 steps, and feel free to skip any that seem unnecessary.

Plan your solo date with ease and joy

Choose a day and time: Mark your calendar. Choose a specific day and time that feel comfortable for you. Sometimes, trying something new can be daunting, so marking it on your calendar will help you commit and know precisely when to take action.
Pick activity(ies): Decide on activities you’ve always wanted to do alone but never had the time for, or perhaps something you’ve seen others do and wished to try yourself. It’s easy! Don’t judge yourself or think you’re spoiling yourself because you are busy all the time thinking about others, and now it’s time for yourself. This is a way to affirm that you matter and deserve to treat yourself the way you treat someone you love.
Make a reservation: To ensure your date goes smoothly, make a reservation a week in advance. This commitment will help you avoid any unforeseen interruptions during your date. For example, having a reservation means you won’t have to wait for your turn during busy times, allowing you to enjoy your moments without any disruption.
Dress up: choose an outfit that makes you feel good. Select clothes you’ve longed to wear but never had the chance to, or choose what feels most comfortable and feel the real you. Most importantly, cherish this time alone as you would with a loved one, and enjoy the time spent in your own company.

6. 11 Ideas for spending time alone

Coffee time: Spending time alone at the coffee shop is a great idea for your day. Order one of your favorite drinks and take a slow moment to enjoy each sip as it soothes your souls. Listen to the background music; it creates a beautiful backdrop for you to relax and explore your inner thoughts. It’s like having a date with an old friend you haven’t seen in a long time.
Restaurant night date: Making a trip to your favorite restaurant is also a nice idea that you should think of. I heard a phrase someone said that ‘Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate.’ Alan D. Wolfelt. Have you ever notices that most people often seem so happy or in a good mood when they are in restaurant? So, why don’t you have a great moment with yourself at your favorite restaurant once?
Movie time: In general, movies are a must-have activity on the dating list of couple. So, I think we can go for a movie after work or sometime in a day to go for a movie with yourself. I used to go to the movie theater quite often when I was sad or had personal issues by myself, and it brings a sense of acceptance and really enjoyments, which I couldn’t have when I went with another. I don’t know how to describe how good it feels, but I can guarantee you that you will feel something inside you moving and say thank you for being willing to spend time for them.
Write thank you note send to yourself: If you quite concerned about the expense you have to spend on your solo date, writing a thank-you note to yourself would be a perfect choice for you. It’s very simple, you just need a paper and a pen or pencil writing for whatever you want to talk to yourself, or just something simple like a conversation with yourself about what you haven’t said to yourself for a long time and feel quite awkward saying it out loud. Your mind and your thought will absolutely appreciate you a lot of being physically talk out loud and present on the paper, you allow it to show up and this shows like an acceptable action that you show to yourself without anyone knowing of and none judging from others or feel embarrass or shy what we are saying and thinking about ourself.
Ride a bicycle: Making the body move is also seen as a way to relieve the stress weight on your shoulder because all of the tiredness is going to wash away by our movement. Cycling is seen as a way to make you feel better, recommended by experts. You might think, why is that? and it makes no sense to you. Let’s think, do you feel stresses or think about unfinished tasks that need to be done when you cycling? I think you would probably not be able to do 2 different jobs at a time. All of your focus at the moment you ride a bike is watching the road and adjusting your wheel and controlling the speed you put on each pedal to follow the road you are on. Additionally, you hardly ignore the beautiful scene along the road when you cycling, and you also feel the gentle breeze comes right to your face and scene on the way you are riding. I think it would be really fun, and you will feel it when you give it a try.
Go to the beach (or other outside activities): Going to the beach would be an ideal option if you are live close to it. Getting close to nature would never be a false way to approach closer to your inner self, because there is only nature with you, free from external interruptions and adjustments. The shooting sounds of the ocean, combined with physical activities like walking, offer both relaxation and rejuvenation. Additionally, the fresh air and sunlight can lift your spirits, while the wide ocean view inspires deep thoughts and creativity.
Enjoy a solo picnic: Organizing a solo picnic can be delightful way to enjoy some quality time with yourself. Grab a blanket, pack your favorite snacks, and find a cozy corner in a nearby park or by a lake. It’s the perfect little escape to enjoy some alone time. Lay back and listen to the birds, dive into a good book, or just watch the clouds roll by. It’s all about giving yourself that sweet break to recharge. It’s also a splendid opportunity to disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with your own thoughts and senses, nurturing your spirit in the process.
Try a pottery class: Have you ever thought about getting your hands a little dirty and creating something beautiful? A pottery class is a fantastic way to do just that! It’s not just about molding clay; it’s about expressing yourself through your art creation and maybe even discovering a road to your hidden self longed for a long time. It’s fun, hand-on way to spend some time learning new skill and maybe make a new friends along the way.
Crochet: Crocheting is another handmade activities you should consider. Picking up a crochet hook and yarn in your hands, it is a simple joy that anyone can start. Whether you’re creating a cozy scarf, a cute amigurumi (little cute animal), or a chic blanket, each stich helps you stich away the stress of the day. The rhythmic motions of crocheting and creating things you desire are almost mediative. Plus, you end up with functional pieces for your home or as gifts. So, grab some yarn and give it a try- it’s a creative and calming activities that might just hook you.
Gardening: Gardening is more than just an activities of growing something and harvest it or enjoy what it brings; it a way to connect with nature right in your own backyard. No matte what seed you are about to plan, each one of those you care is incredibly rewarding. It’s a perfect and affordable way to enjoy the outdoors, improve your home environment and even enhance your meals with home-grown ingredients!
Cook for yourself: Cooking your favorite meal is an easy way to enjoy some alone time. Whether you’re making a quick meal or trying something new, cooking is all about taking care of yourself. You can take your time, enjoy the smells and tastes, and relax while you cook. So, all you need to do is set up a nice spot just for you, play some music you love, and cook something special for yourself. It’s a nourishing way to cherish your own company and enjoy every bite at your own pace.

Up to this point, I hope the idea of starting to date yourself seen a little less daunting. It’s transformative journey that reconnects you with your inner self and uncovers the joys of solitude. Whatever activities you choose, remember that a nourishing time a aloneness is precious— it’s your chance to truly listen to your thoughts and cherish your own company, just as you with a close friend. Are you ready to embark on this journey of self-discovery and personal growth? Thank you for joining me up to this point. I hope you find these insights useful and that they inspire you to explore more about yourself. I’m eager to hear about your experiences—please share your stories in the comments down below.

Now, Let’s start this beautiful journey together. Love!

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In The Stillness

junewen — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 18:17:52 +0000

I have felt a strange longing for writing lately.

It must have been a long time since I wrote the last blog. It is quite hard for me to settle down in one place for a long time, especially after more than 5 years since the day I moved out and lived far away from my family. Like many, I’m just a child from a small town who move to a big city, hoping to pursue a dream job and a better life after completing my education. I’ve moved 6 times in just two and a half years, and the nostalgic for everything I once had standing in front of my previous home is fading. I am grateful for everything in my life, even the smallest things. Whenever I move, I spend a few minutes looking through every corner of my current place, like a film reel of memories flashing before my eyes from the day I moved in until the last.

I try to imprint my feelings onto every place I’ve stayed, as a way of showing respect and gratitude for the the shelter and nurture I received. Although this is my usual habit, I now feel that the more I move, the less attached I become to each place. I am being swept up by the fast face of technology and daily to-do lists. Moving no longer feels like a challenge or a difficult decision. I’ve become more comfortable with change, welcoming it in whatever form it arrives, which can sometimes be beneficial and sometimes not. Over time, my attachment to places has normalized, which sometimes makes me sad because I fear losing my feelings and becoming indifferent to the life I am living. The simple reason behind this is that I don’t want to lose myself and always strive to appreciate and give thanks for everything that happens to me.

I am naturally curious, which leads me to observe everything quite carefully. I’ve noticed how quickly people can change their personalities and how they communicate with others, not in a good way, which often doesn’t like the person I once know. I’ve questioned this repeatedly, but no one can give me answer and I think might not their concern. Fortunately, I accidentally heard the answer through a psychology show on the radio. They explained that people are often unconsciously influenced by their environments, which naturally affects their personalities. This made sense to me, and since then, I’ve reminded myself to maintain my core values and true self, even as I adapt to new environments.

Life is harsh, and it doesn’t always unfold as we wish. Especially in the modern age, people rush to keep up with social expectations, and this hurried lifestyle inadvertently impacts our lives. I am not different, not taking enough tine to reflect on the places I’ve been and appreciate what I’ve gained. I worried too much about my distant future, trying to escape the harsh realities before me. I’ve wondered if I set my expectations too high, if I was foolish to break norms, or if I was too stubborn about my abilities and dreams. I have never felt as stresses as I do now. It’s like a deep cold that cuts through my body, numbing me. I must breath slowly to avoid pain. I’ve learned that ignoring problems doesn’t make them disappear; they just wait to resurface. When I fail to meet my plans and return to self-criticism, it traps me in a negative cycle that drains all my positive emotions. I feel very exhausted.

Making the significant decision to move to a larger city was daunting because I was unsure of what to do in this strange place. It wasn’t just me moving; others were involved, doubling the effort. I met someone new who didn’t think highly of me, not because of anything I had done but because of their perceptions of my situation, which I’d rather not mention. I’ve experienced a series of uncomfortable emotions and have yet to find anything in this new environment that makes me proud. It feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders, overshadowing all my feelings. I know I must endure and navigate through these challenges, but the thought of it makes my heart ache. The more I try to comfort myself that it will be okay, the deeper the pain feels.

This beginning like this is not like every time I was experienced; it is the most significant time of building and forming my career path for the rest of my life. Of course, it sounds harsh and like such a heavy burden; currently I still feel like I’m on the verge between falling and grounding; everyone has to get through this one before getting a good standing or a good career path after that. So, I think I should be at the moment and do everything I could to fill in the only blank I need to complete all myself. It just likes little sprouts; they need time to take all the nutrients before they are ready to start a new branch and grow heavily, and the growth process of a person also goes through the same; just look at the very same process.

It’s so strange that when I look back at my past, I tend to tell others about those hard times I had been through with a positive and happy feeling; it feels like I did such a great thing or some kind of achievement. I think maybe you feel the same way as I do. Over a month since I moved to a new place, my life was like upside down and was in the chaos; I tried to wear a perfect mask on and pretend I was okay, but actually I wasn’t. I also tried to convince myself it would be just right and nothing I had to worry about; my real emotions were suppressed for so long, which led to me easily getting upset even over the smallest thing.

New year, new place, and new people. I’m still the same person but with a different attitude. I promise myself that I will be more proactive, responsible. Ultimately, everyone makes their own choices, and no one can control or limit other’s abilities or the choices they make. This applies to me as well. I refuse to limit myself; I want to explore freely and live the independent life I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl in middle school. No matter what happens, remember that you always have choices. The only limits are those of your abilities and your worth.

In some weird way, despite the panic and exhaustion, I also feel grateful and appreciative of the things that have happened to me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to move, for having real weekends, and for the time to challenges myself.

Get out there, learn as much as you can, step out of your comfort zone, and strengthen your worth. These actions might lead you to the place you want to be. Do what you need to do, trust the process, and everything will be just fine. Ready?

“Everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear” George Addair

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Ready For A Fresh Start

junewen — Thu, 18 Jul 2024 19:40:51 +0000

On July 3rd, I had the most awkward trip I have ever taken. the day before, I was so excited about the small trip I was going to take with my grandma and aunties in the Northeast area. I booked a roundtrip ticket and planned to get there before sundown.

I woke up early to be at the airport before the final call at 5 a.m. I was happy and excited about the flight, smiling and telling myself that I would be at my grandma’s house around 2:20 in the afternoon. That seemed like the perfect time to rest and enjoy the rest of the day, arriving in the time to feel good and enjoy the cozy ambiance right before sundown. However, things didn’t turn our as planned. My seat on both planes was at the very back of the aircraft.

I thought I would be fine without wearing a mask, given my seat location, but combined with the long wait on the plane after landing for about 15 minutes, it wasn’t ideal. All I could think about was how much I wanted to throw up. There were many unpleasant smells around me, the talking noise from everyone around, babies crying, smell of a snack bag intentionally left next to me, and the air coming from the top of the plane. It was the scariest thing ever. I had to hold my breath and tell myself over and over again to squeeze my nose as hard as possible t avoid doing anything embarrassing. Finally, I arrived peacefully and safely. After leaving the airport and waiting for pickup, the story didn’t end there. I was starving since I hadn’t eaten anything since leaving home. My aunties-in-law would pick me up when I landed. Ironically, she needed to go somewhere before heading home, so I had to go with her because I had no choice. On the way, she took the wrong exist twice, which could last forever. Honestly, my patience reached its limit. When I made it home, I ran right into the kitchen ad fast as I could. I seems like people easily get cranky when they are hungry. By that time, I was so exhausted that I hardly feel good, and I struggled to have a small chat with my grandma, my mind wandered while my body was there. The headache and tiredness only subsided after a long 3-4 hour nap once I had eaten. I began to feel like myself and regained my excitement.

The day of the vacation officially started with nice weather, sunshine, and lines of trees on the way to the beach. Everything felt different from where I live. It was a perfect beach day. We spent 4 hours lying on the sand, catching waves, building sandcastles, soaking up the sun, and taking a small nap right on the beach. There was nothing more perfect than that. Spending 4 days and 3 nights there exceeded my expectations. We enjoyed the beach during the day and night at the dock, it was like a dream. The whole picture of the new world barely showed up in front of my eyes, and I haven’t given any thought to what I could

Early Peaceful Morning By The Sea

possibly see in my future. It gave me more reason to push myself harder for a quality life in the future.

Coming from a small town in a small country, having the chance to see stunning and magnificent things in a developed country felt like a magical moment. Making the decision to start life in a new country was the most valuable things I ever considered. Every decision holds a big impact on one’s life. If I hadn’t start life in a new country, I wouldn’t have had the chance to see and experience beautiful things or expand my thinking and vision about life. I wouldn’t have even dreamed of being in such a place or just visiting if i had stayed where I was born.

There is so much abundance in the place I’m going to, in every aspect. A person can make their dreams come true with education and preparation. Access to food and knowledge is easier compared to where I was, where even getting enough meals for a month was a difficult task, and costs often exceeded monthly income. Not to mention the cramped living space share for every function-bathing, washing, restroom and sleeping. Spending few years in such living space taught me the value of decision-making, personal space, and freedom. This trip made me realize that it is a gift of hope, wishful thinking, and believing that there is something better than where I grew up. Finally, here I am, not officially, but partly. The desire to learn and practice repeatedly nurtures me to grow stronger after every small trip.

At this moment, I’m going to start a new journey, feeling scared and uncertain about whether I can make it. There’s a lot of internal conflict, comparing myself to others. Looking up makes me feel less confident, while looking down make me feel ahead of others; I understand that’s not the appropriate way to think about it. I hesitate and underestimate myself sometimes, struggling to get rid of these feelings. But then, I reconsider my feelings, I realize they are just emotions and not a true reflection of my value, knowledge, or abilities. Emotions are temporary and don’t define my potential. It’s like the chemical reactions in our bodies trying to protect us from perceived dangers, they do not have any right to control us.

This trip has been a reminder that life is full of opportunities if we are willing to accept and strive for whatever we feels right for us. Making decisions and striving for better things are essential. I’ve always tried to live actively, not just sitting there and wanting things but working for it, going with the flow, and finishing what needs to be done.

As the season change, so do we. Just like a person who struggles to move from a small village to the outside world, there are many things to learn and adapt to. It can be a fearful and vague process, but eventually, we must step out with all abilities we own, much like a butterfly shedding its cocoon. The process is painful and challenging, but it leads to growth, freedom, and happy life. I learn to see life like that little butterfly, eagerly awaiting the joys and challenges ahead, knowing that the bad day will pass and good day will come eventually.

Write for days with endless thought.

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Excited To Continue This Chapter

junewen — Fri, 21 Jun 2024 12:29:36 +0000

On the longest day of the year, I felt differently about than other years back then. I was so excited about who remember my day, what gifts I would receive, what surprise I would have, and many more. This was not the same in this year, the reason my be that I find the good reason for letting me feel special about my day in another way. Accidentally knowing my birthday has another meaning – the longest day in a year and also special enough to have its own name. It is called “summer solstice,” and I start borrowing it as a way to feel special about myself. Not so often would have special on the day they were born, it happens to me.

Time is passing by like a stream at a river, continuing to flow. Asking to take advantage of this annual milestone, I have a chance having moment to pause, reflect, and embrace the whirling of emotions and thoughts that have carried on for years.

At this time last year, I remember I was too busy to care about anything else, there were 2 weeks late for works and I was trying to keep up with work space in the new environment. I barely have any energy left to think about birthday stuff. Honestly, I have never felt happy or enjoy about anything since then, holding my mind with tons of thinking about responsibilities I need to fulfill, what I will be like in the next few years, and whether it will turn out the way I want it. Overwhelming mind with tons of worry thinking, then start laughing and dragging back to the present on and off.

Growing up in a village, worked hard all day under blazing sun to make a living brought me to a real world since I started taking care of everything in the age of 5. That was a really tough time, cake, candle, blessing from someone-it never cease to exist. I get used to it when it comes to birthday. However, I treasure everything even the smallest one happen to me, I feel happy whenever someone does to me which makes me smile all day and even day after. I never blame for things, for my parent worked all day in a fields, for never be pick up at school, for look like as a big sister in the house. One of the precious things I learn from those old days is accept everything cause I was too little to have my own choice.

Having no choice nurturing me stronger than ever, I get used to things really quick, accept every consequence I make. I know deeply inside my mind I have to be the one create and have my own choice when I fully mature in my thinking and my ability. There is no longer being in the time I was a little, choice is never something that I own.

At the same time, I have never thanked enough to the one who always walks alongside me, always be there, keep positive, find solution when I get stuck, myself; is the best one I couldn’t ask more. Be the one will always be there to walk with me through ups and downs, good and bad, and everything that a person could express with only themselves. Thankful to all people I had met, met, and will meet for bringing me something into my life.

I hope you will continue the journey. Keep walking, going, passionate, brave, scared, but never forget to keep on the right track. I am grateful to go this far with you and so excited about the journey we will make together.

Here’s to the past has shaped me, the present that grounds me, and the future that beckons will be revealed. Happy birthday to me!

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To Summer Memories

junewen — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 19:26:56 +0000

I was entering the first day of the summer with light rain outside the window, where I was always loved. Summer might be the most excited season for everyone, especially for kids because they don’t need to go to school. Summer lies between love and hate for parents; time they need to set up their work schedule for a small vacation go somewhere and spend time with kid after the cold season has passed.

However, seasonal changes always make people feel tired of the weather, which is not stable one day cold and another day hot, making people easy to get sick at the same time. The process of change always brings an unpleasant with satisfying at once; it ceases to get noticed when thinking about stepping into the next season of the year. In my opinion, it brings such a noise and excitement, I never give changing season any attention or give them any meaning, because basically it has no name. For me, no name doesn’t mean nothing; it always carries a big meaning for me in some sense. It is time to prepare to get ready to look back and see whether we are on the right track of our goal had been set in a year, whether we are still in control or let the time of a day with 24 hours wash us away, whether we are ready, learn, and practice hard enough preparing the glorious achievement at the end of the year. Sometimes, I carelessly forget that I just have the same amount of time as everyone else, so I waste that valuable time in a day doing unnecessary things and then keep complaining about being unable to do this or that within a short time. Those regularly brother me years earlier.

Observing the seasonal changes has helped me understand a significant lesson: Don’t ever underestimate or overlook anything; even if the thing doesn’t have a name for it, it still brings something that we humans are arrogant and lazy to see.

Summer often goes with such a beautiful scene and relaxing feeling; lying down on the beautiful beach with a cup of coconut water, time for travel, road trip, BBQ party, or just a small garden back of the house full of flowers and herbs.

This year’s summer is unlike any other to me, surrounded by ordinary things that surprise me with a very different feeling that I normally do not experience. The street across wears beautiful green clothes made from huge trees lined up, a cozy look right in the first month of summer. I get up by alarm made by nature, hearing bird chirping, the sound of leaves rubbing against each other from the orphan wind (which we usually call in my home country), and sunlight shining through windows. Those things every day make me feel how grateful I am to feel and see how nature can be beautiful like that. Perhaps changing seasons means something special to me, reminding me of my memories that I forgot. Might the reason be spending to much time on screen, checking email, mindlessly look on social media post has literally dulled our senses to the profound beauty and raw emotions of the real world?

I realize that no matter how many tools there are on this day to help people entertain or spend time on screen to relax, nothing can compare to the real things out there. I can see, feel, and touch, but I cannot take it and own it for myself. Have you ever notice that the smell of the wind in the air is totally different in every month? And, I think I cannot feel and embrace it when paying attention to the virtual world.

I am ready to step into the next season, with so much fun and a lot of things need to be done. Don’t forget to word hard and also relax hard, because our body need to maintain energy for keep doing and performing the good work.

Summer is officially coming.

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Benefits of Waking Up Early

junewen — Mon, 20 May 2024 13:48:25 +0000

Have you ever imagined what it feels like to start your day far ahead of anyone else? Being an early birth has many benefits that can improve your life in ways you never expect. That’s the reason why many said that waking up is an inspiring journey to success.

The list of benefits that you would earn from getting up early:

1. Having More Time for Yourself

Imagine waking up with a quiet and peaceful morning to plan your day and do the things you love. It obviously brings you a sense of relaxation when having time alone and nobody could take it from you; at that moment you be able to do things you love without getting disturb from something else. You would feel grateful and happy because you have a feeling of you take a good care of yourself, hence you will also ready to spread that good and positive feeling to other. It is also leading to a more productive performance at work and happy about your personal life.

2. Self-Control or Balance Between Work and Life

Giving you more personal time before sharing your time on doing a responsible daily job or task, to plan up for whole day to do the things that matter most to you. You can become responsible for your own schedule and routines and have the power to shape your day in a way that works best for you. When you have time for yourself and fulfill what you want to do in a day, you will obviously have a sense of control thing in your life and the feeling of others social responsibilities steels your time is no longer exist. Additionally, you will feel more happy and grateful for whatever you are doing, which in turns having balance between work and life.

3. Professional in Time Management

Waking up early gives a person plenty of time ahead of everyone, because most of school, the workplace, stores still close in the early hours. Which means you have 2-3 hours before 7am in the morning, which allows you to plan your day more effectively, such as having time for yourself and allocating time for important tasks and activities. As a result, this proactive approach allows you to have a more organized and structured day. You can also have time to prioritize you most important to help you keep track of and complete those tasks efficiently and on time. The habit of waking up provides you with a greater time management skill that can lead to more productivity and a more balanced life.

4. Creating a Good Sleep Habit

Early in the morning is a good time for establishing a good sleep habit, because consistency rising up early helps regulate your sleep schedule, helping to more consistent and restful sleep. This routine aligns with your body’s internal clock for the best sleep quality, making it easier to fall asleep and wake up at the same time everyday. Keeping this habit overtime has a greater help in reducing chances of insomnia and other sleep-related issues. Most people with habit of waking up early often experience deeper, more restorative sleep, which contributes to better overall internal and external well-being.

5. Improving Concentration and Mental Clarity

Often in the early hours are typically the quietest part of the day, you are free from the usual distraction and annoyed like other dramas, breaks news from social media or other channels that eat up your energy and disrupt your concentration. Early in a day provides the perfect environment for focused work, planning, and reflection. As many successful individuals value their time on uninterrupted early time to work which attributes to accomplishment. With fewer external stimuli, early risers engage in deep thinking and creative problem-solving, creating much more advantage and efficiency.

6. Fostering Physical Health

People who have the habit of waking up early tend to have plenty of time spent on their personal activities, and that’s also the most reasonable time to practice a healthy lifestyle and foster various healthy habits. In the early hours, we often be in a good mood and get the most motivation; this is a perfect time to incorporate exercise into our daily routine, such as doing yoga, meditation, running, or just 15-minutes workout. Which takes just a very small part of the day, but helps to boost our metabolism, improve mood, and increase energy levels for the rest of the day. According to experts, engaging in physical activity in the morning also promotes the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good hormones, which can reduce our stress and anxiety through all day.

7. Growing a Positive Mindset

Most of the business activities start late in the morning; we hardly be bothered by outside noise like cars passing by or even tons of work needing to be finished. Therefore, waking up early can have a profound impact on your mental health and emotional well-being. The peaceful morning hours provide an opportunity for self-reflection, meditation, or journaling; all those activities are time to take care of your inner self and make you feel happy about the day ahead. This can help you start your day with a sense of calm and purpose. Like many articles and experts define, early risers often report feeling more optimistic and motivated throughout the day. This positive outlook can enhance your interaction with others, improve your resilience to stress, and contribute to a greater sense of overall happiness.

8. Developing Personal and Professional Relationships

Early hours provide you more time in your day for your meaningful interactions with family members, whether there would be a busy day. You get closer to to others with more strong connections and more fulfillment as you dedicate tine to your loved ones. actively listening to them, and offer support for them also. In turn, it provides you with a sense of responsibility and control over your life, brings a positive attitude before heading to work, provides the best result, and performs well at the work place. Additionally, you have time to arrive at work early can demonstrate dedication and reliability, potentially leading to greater respect and opportunities for career advancement.

9. Increasing Time Management Skills

As having plenty of time before heading to work, you have time for yourself to plan and allocate time for important tasks and activities. This proactive approach allows us for more organized and clear instruction, reducing last-minute rushing and stress. This habit of scheduling time in the early morning brings you greater productivity and a more balanced life.

10. Increasing Originality and Creativity

The quiet morning hours offer a peaceful environment that is conducive to creative thinking and brainstorming. As many artists, writers, and innovators find that their best ideas come to them in the early morning when their minds are fresh and free from the clutter of the day. By utilizing time in the morning to creative activities, you can unlock your most innovative thoughts and ideas, which also helps to greater creativity and problem-solving abilities.

11. Increasing Self-Control

The commitment to rise early everyday regardless of external circumstances, strengthens your ability to stick to routines and habits. It establishes a self-discipline to your skill, extends to other areas of you life, making it easier to maintain healthy habits, achieve personal goals, and overcome challenges. These sense of accomplishment that comes from consistently waking up early also boost your confidence and motivation, further reinforcing your self-discipline.

12. Creating a Sense of Accomplishment

Starting your day early allows you to accomplish more in the first few hours than many people do all day. This sense of achievement can spread a positive tone for the rest of the day, boosting your attitude and productivity. You have a feeling of satisfaction and motivation by completing tasks early in the day; this action will trigger you to continue being productive as you keep gaining positive feeling. This early sense of accomplishment can also reduce stress and anxiety, as you feel in control of your time and responsibilities.

13. Fostering a Healthier Lifestyle

Chances you be more likely to engage in healthy habit such as eating a nutrition breakfast, exercising regularly, and maintaining a consistent sleep schedule. If you are maintaining wake up early in the morning regularly, which contributes to better physical and mental healthy, reducing the risk of chronic diseases and improving over well-being. Additionally, by making the most of the morning hours, you can establish a strong foundation a healthy and fulfilling life.

A truth untold about waking up early in the morning and can be life-changing for those who practice and incorporate it into their daily routine. If you still hesitate to make this habit part of your life, we believe that the benefits mentioned above will provide the right motivation to help you commit to it. Since everyone is given the same of time each day- no more, no less- it’s important to use that time efficiently and set a positive foundation for other beneficial practices that contribute to your overall health and wellness.

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6 Things You Should Avoid While Wake Up Early

junewen — Fri, 17 May 2024 14:50:05 +0000

Although you have followed all the rules to form the habit of waking up early, you still need to consider a few things before bedtime in order to starting your day on the right foot without making common mistakes. We know that is seem too many techniques that could make you a bit frustrated for the first time.

For this reason, we encourage you to eliminate a few things in 6 of those:

Hit snooze
Eat too late
Energy drinks or alcohol, and excessive exercise in the late afternoon
Take a long nap during the daylight
Upbeat music and silent phones
Daylight in the room

Hit snooze: Try not to avoid hitting snooze in the morning, as it can disrupt your sleep cycle and make it harder to fully wake up. It is really hard to do but try to help yourself and you will gain much more benefits from it.

Eat too late: Eat late or having heavy meals close to bedtime for instance sugar, caffein, or fat as this can interfere with your sleep schedule. Try to finish your last meal at least 3 hours before bedtime. Stick to light snacks and limit your fluid intake before bed.

Energy drink or alcohol, and excessive exercise in the late afternoon: Reduce consuming energy drinks or engaging in intense physical activity too close to bedtime, as this can trigger wakeness hormone and make it harder for you to fall asleep and feel fatigued in the morning. If you do, you can limit your alcohol intake and have your last drink several hours before bedtime.

Take a long nap during the daylight: As it can mess up with your sleep-wake cycle and make it harder for you to fall asleep at night.

Upbeat music and silent phones: Highly unrecommend for those who have trouble at sleep by listening to upbeat music late at night, it can cause to make you more energy and hard to relax before bedtime. Keeping your phone away as far as possible at least an hour before sleep cause the signal emitted from the phone is not good for your brain and the screen light might trigger your wakeness neuron. Consider investing a sound machine or earplugs to block out any external noise.

Day light in the room: Create a dark and relaxing atmosphere in your bedroom to help you fall asleep faster.

The post 6 Things You Should Avoid While Wake Up Early appeared first on Better by Lit.

Tips Help Wake Up Instantly In Early Morning

junewen — Wed, 15 May 2024 01:29:35 +0000

Waking up early doesn’t have to feel like an internal fight every moring. It’s really about using the right tools to support you.

Small changes, like using a sound machine or adjusting your room temperature, might not seem like much at first, but they remove a lot of the resistance that usually gets in the way. You’re not relying on motivation every morning-you’re creating a setup that works with you.

That’s where the main point of these tips.

You don’t need a perfect routine. You just need something consistent enough that your body can get used to it. Once that happens, waking up early or on time stops feeling like a daily struggle and starts to feel more automatic.

Start simple. Adjust what works for you. And give yourself a bit of time with it- you might be surprises how much easier mornings can feel once things start clicking.

Do you still struggle to wake up in the early morning, even after a full night’s sleep? These tips, tricks, and part of sleep toolkit, can help you feel more alert and refresh in the early morning:

Use a sound machine to create a consistent sleep and wake routine
Adjust room temperature slightly warmer in the morning
Leave the blinds open to let natural light in
Check out with Sleep Toolkit from HubermanLab

There’s something about mornings feel hard to get up especially when the first thing you heard is a loud, abrupt alarm.

The truth is waking is early doesn’t really begin in the moring-it begins with how you set up your nights.

This sound machine can change that experience completely.

I’ve found that once it’s set, it almost feels like the day flows on its own. You go to bed at a familiar sound, and you wake up to another. Over time, your body starts recognizing those cues naturally.
It’s simple, but that’s what makes it work. You’re not forcing a habit-you’re building one that repeats itself.

This is a baby sound machine that I use for setting up my sleep and rise habit schedule

Why should you have the sound machine rather than using a regular alarm? The answer is simple; because staying consistent with a sleep schedule is hard-and a big reason is THE WAY MOST ALARMS WAKE YOU UP.

A typical alarm is loud, sudden, and disruptive. It pulls you out of sleep instantly, which just makes you to hitting snooze or starting the day feeling off. That kind of wake-up doesn’t support a routine-it works against it.

A sound machine takes a different approach.

Instead of shocking you awake, it helps you follow a set sleep and wake schedule in a way your body can actually adapt to. You can choose when you want to wind down and when you want to wake up, and the sound signal you can set it up by yourself tied to those times.

Over time, that consistency matters more than anything else.

Your brain starts to recognize the pattern:

A specific sound means it’s time to sleep
Another sound means it’s time to wake up

You’re not relying on willpower every day. You’re using a system that makes it easier to stick to your routine-and that’s what actually helps you build the habit.

What I love about the baby sound machine I’m using is how it keeps things simple but flexible enough to fit with my needs.

Here I will list several features of its:

Custom sleep and wake scheduling based on your routine
Gradually sound increase for a gentler wake-up
Different sound options for night and morning
Built-in guidance to help shape your sleep routine
Year-round scheduling to customize sounds and timing for specific day
Automatic timers so you don’t have to reset it daily

Overall, it doesn’t feel like a complicated system. Once it’s set, it just quietly supports your routine in the background.

From my experience, using this machine made my sleep more consistent because I’m no longer dealing with a harsh alarm. I wake up more naturally and feel better starting the day with a softer sound. I’m also more willing to get up on time instead of staying bed like I used to. I’ve noticed I get out of bed a bit easier, and I don’t feel as heavy in those first few minutes.

Another tip to help you wake up more easily is paying attention to the temperature. Why? Because when the room temperature is too low, which makes you unable to get up instantly, you should make the room temperature go a little higher; this will trigger the wake-up state. If you are really technical and measure how much temperature is in your room, you can download a free app on your phone device, like “Thermometer Room Temperature,” that will allow you to measure both temperature and humidity as well.

Plus, another tool is the sleep toolkit, there is a free guiding video name “The Optimal Morning Routine” in which they make animation combined filming video to go over important tips you need to consider. The video summarize content based on the research of Andrew Huberman on YouTube (long for nearly 2 hours). It provides a step-by-step guide to help you start you day right away. You will see how easy these techniques are much more effective than doing by yourself without confusing what you are going to do first. We believe that you will grasp all things mentioned and get motivated to take into practice. Check it out:

Another extra source that we found very useful for you in case you need additional technique. The website is contained extremely reliable knowledge, which originally from Andrew Huberman, Ph.D. as we’re mentioned before.

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